Get You Some Business

Women are bombarded with motherhood, household chores and marriage from the time they become aware of being alive. We are given baby dolls, kitchen sets and fairy tales that tells us that prince charming is going to take us away and take care of our every desire and need. With all of the brainwashing, it’s no wonder why women expect men to be their knight in shining armor and expect for them to take care of them, even if they have their own money and have successful careers.

There are women who dream of being the perfect wife, perfect homemaker and perfect mother. While there is positively, absolutely, nothing wrong with that (hell, Martha Stewart made being a perfect homemaker a lucrative business), what happens when the kids don’t need mothering, the home is perfect cause there are no kids to mess it up and your husband is occupied with work and all his interest? What will you fill your time with? Do you even know what makes you happy or peeks your interest?

I was watching Bravo TV’s The Real Housewives of Atlanta and one of the ladies, Sheree, is in the middle of a divorce with a famous athlete and has indicated how she placed her goals in life on hold to start a family and seemed a little bitter. If I had a penny for every time I heard a divorcing woman or unhappily married woman say this, I would be Oprah rich.

To me, this just goes to show that at some point in every person’s life, one comes to a point where an individual asks, “What is my purpose?” or if one knows it, “Why didn’t I pursue it?” And if your reason not to pursue your dreams was due to managing your family, don’t ride that reason to your death. There is nothing sexier than a woman who has interest of her own and knows how to make herself happy.

I recently had a discussion with a woman who had re-entered the work force after being off for thirteen years to care for her daughter. She enjoyed motherhood and had traveled around with her husband in his business. Then one day she said she asked him a question, his reply, “you need to get you some business.” She said that very day, she did. And has had her “some business” ever since.

Having her some business made her feel good about herself and in turn made her marriage better because she was happier. She said that her husband hates when she tells people how she was motivated back to the workforce because it makes him sound bad. But she doesn’t tell the story placing him in a bad light and I didn’t sense that she took his comments in a negative way. She received it as inspiration and knew it was time for her to be about her again and fulfill her dreams and interest.

Diane Carol said it best, “You can have it all. You just can’t have it all at once.” So there is nothing wrong with putting your professional dreams or goals on hold, while you are pursuing your personal dreams of starting a family. However, when things aren’t working out, don’t blame your personal goals for sacrificing your professional goals and vice versa. Just get going and get you some business.